Graduation from 2013

Every year when my brother and I were little, my parents and uncles marked our heights on the wall at my grandma’s house.  I miss that.  I’ve realized most of my New Years resolutions these days are some variation of that ritual -- I tell myself I’m going to start filling out annual surveys about my thoughts on life or take a picture every day for a year or write a letter to my future self or keep a video diary… anything to keep track, to be able to get to the end of a year and say, “Look!  I’m bigger now!”  I have yet to complete any of these projects successfully, but I almost always end up throwing myself a therapy party this time of year to sit down and ask myself all the questions I used to roll my eyes at when my mom would ask me on my birthdays.  (“What was your proudest accomplishment this year?  Happiest memory?  Biggest regret?”)  

After a little calendar and photo album reminiscing, I’ve concluded that 2013, definitively, happened and that it was, on the whole, a good year.  I broke my personal record for number of street tacos consumed in a ten day period, I learned how to use a power drill and I swam in bioluminescent water.  I relived an entire 13-month relationship in one weekend when my ex came to visit and concluded that breaking up was, in fact, the right decision.  I traveled to Atlanta, Toronto, Baltimore, Chicago, Portland, San Antonio, Bend and Austin and concluded that San Francisco is, in fact, the best city in the US.  My best friend was accepted to an ivy league medical school, my teammates got married in a Redwood grove, and a person of unspecified relation to me had the cops called on him for pooping in the woods.  It was awesome.

Also friends’ hearts got broken, mom’s heart got surgery, and things got stolen (two laptops, two bikes and a wallet, but who’s counting?).  My friend Virginia got deported to Colombia after accidentally setting her host family’s house on fire and my friend Brandon “Collins” turned out to be a criminal with a stolen identity.  There were a few long nights enduring the view of spinning tiles on bathroom floors and a few long weeks enduring a knee injury and runninglessness.

But at the end of the year, I’ve certainly collected a few extra bullet points on my life resume.

Things I learned about life in 2013:

• Almost everything tastes better when chopped up in a massive bowl of spinach with greek yogurt, lemon, salt and a little balsamic.  That may sound weirdly healthy, but it’s actually just a sneaky way to take more bites out of something that tastes good.  (e.g. 1 Burrito = 12 bites.  1 Burrito cut up in a giant bowl of spinach = 40 bites.)
• The cheapest spinach is at Mi Tierra market on 16th and Mission.  
• Always wear a helmet.  Always lock up bikes with a U lock.  Never put bikes on roofs of cars.  
• The “I think we should stop seeing each other” conversation does not get easier with practice.
• Wearing basically the same clothes every day frees up a lot of mental space.
• A designated laundry “Purgatory” holder next to the hamper (not technically clean, but not quite dirty) is essential to life.  Giant lamp shades work well for this.
• There are few opportunities to repay your parents (i.e. moments when they need your love and support as much as you have needed theirs throughout your life).  Such opportunities should not be squandered, though they usually are.
• Proscuitto will definitely get stuck in your throat if you try to swallow it without chewing.  No matter how well your darts game is going, just stop and go clear your air passage.
• Witty intellectual Halloween costumes, even when based on trending pop culture or political themes, are rarely as good as easy-to-recognize classic ones.
• Never pay someone before they deliver your furniture.  
• If ordering multiple barrels of wine for a party, open one at a time. That way if people only drink a few liters, the other two are still intact (and potentially returnable for a refund).
• Happiness is biking from Golden Gate Park to SoMa at 10pm on a Tuesday night after a track workout and a few $2 Tecates at the Mucky Duck.

Things I learned about myself in 2013:

• Fine dining and high fashion are not luxuries I appreciate.
• Grocery delivery and non-stop flights are luxuries I appreciate.
• I am slowly becoming my mother.  
• I am addicted to agnosticism -- the dangerous tendency to relegate anything that is complex or difficult to understand to the realm of “Things that humans will never be able to fully comprehend.”
• If there is cheese in the refrigerator today, there will not be cheese in the refrigerator tomorrow (I am incapable of not eating all the cheese).  
• The thing I value most in a companion is the ability to be surprisingly honest, unfiltered and authentic.  But if they can also fix bikes, tell good jokes and/or love tacos, it doesn’t hurt.
• Running is essential to my mental and emotional well-being. I may have already known that in 2012 but it really hit home this year.
• I am more flattered by exclamations of surprise and disbelief than by direct compliments (think talking to a five-year-old: “No way! Can you really name all the colors?!”)
• I should not have pets.  Or plants.
• I should not be trusted near other people’s leftovers.
• If someone asks for my help on a project, I will commandeer the entire operation, go above and beyond all expectations and leave them feeling grateful but also uncomfortable with critiquing anything I’ve done (even if it was never really asked for).
• I have a mediocre singing voice and am not the least bit embarrassed by it.

I’m not going to mark my personal growth on the wall in my apartment (mostly because it’s painted green and pencil wouldn’t really show up) but I think it’s safe to say I’m older now than I was a year ago.  

Now that I think about it, I’m not sure what the actual Goal of growing up is… Becoming a Master Sage, I suppose.   So if nothing else, the lampshade laundry purgatory was a major step.